It’s Been A While
I haven’t written in many weeks. In part, our lives have been so chaotic, I haven’t had time. But also, writing requires deep reflection, and for so long now, I haven’t wanted to look too deep. There has been a lot of fear, which I have buried under the busyness of hunting for housing and the many, many hours spent replacing contents. Those experiences, I will detail below, but to begin this long tale, I will share the ending. Fear and hopelessness prepare the way for trust to take root. We are not alone.
Transitional Housing
The last time I wrote, we had just cleaned out the basement of our home. (See “Our First Step as Scavengers” for that story.) We were still living in temporary furnished housing at that time. It was very expensive. It served a purpose, but we knew that we needed to move on. We considered buying. I spent countless late night hours scouring the MLS. We worked with a realtor to find leasing options as well. We toured apartment after apartment. Town homes too. For nearly three weeks, Luke and I spent every day looking at properties, often three and four a day.
When one comes out of a moldy environment, it’s important that the next property be free of mold. Continued exposure will inhibit healing. I knew the statistics. It’s estimated that 50% of the buildings in America are water damaged. Still, I thought I’d be able to find something clean within our budget. This proved to be a greater challenge than I expected. I’ll give two examples (of many).
The Search for Housing
The first, was an apartment complex that we thought would be ok. It was far from home, but seemed like a decent option. Luke and I were left sitting in the leasing office for an extended period of time while the agent was busy in another room. While we sat there, my eyes came to rest on the air conditioning duct work near the ceiling. The vent was huge. Maybe a foot and a half across. I was horrified to see that it was filled with black mold. If that was the state of the leasing office, I could hold no confidence that an individual unit would be any better.
(not actual image…but it looked like that.)
Another Complication
Regarding houses, a flood, four years ago, left many local properties water damaged. I still remember one house that we viewed. It was about $1,000 over our monthly budget, but we were getting desperate. Even with that exorbitant price tag, when I examined the basement, there was mold growing up the studs where the dry wall had been cut away at flood height and remediation efforts (or lack there of) had failed.
I left that property in tears. That was after weeks and weeks spent looking. The property was so far over budget and still not clean enough. Luke’s days, instead of being spent at the park or playing with friends, were spent riding in the car and touring place after place after place. After each one, he would ask, “Is this going to be our home?” And each time I would have to say, “No. No, it’s not.” I was heartbroken and hopeless. That’s when we moved our search even farther beyond our semi-immediate community.
Where We Are Now
We are now living in a brand new apartment complex about thirty minutes north of our old home. While creating quite the commute for David, it was the only property (not too outside our budget) that passed the smell test, had no visual mold, and had a low likelihood of mold (though even new properties can harbor mold damage from irresponsible construction errors). I wouldn’t say that we have a settled feeling here. All our basic needs are met, though we are still waiting on most of our furniture to be delivered. It’s just hard to feel at home when everything around us is new and unfamiliar. It feels like we’re living with someone else’s stuff.
Regarding contents, we made a plea for help at the beginning of May. A friend posted a GoFundMe page on our behalf. While that page has mostly stalled, it has led us to many other opportunities. Through that page being shared on Facebook, I was quickly put in contact with a pastor’s wife who went through this exact situation two years ago. I learned that we are not alone. Their parsonage was filled with mold and lead. The family was sick. They lost all of their contents.
Aside from offering emotional support, the pastor’s wife also pointed me to a Lutheran organization called “Soldiers of the Cross.” I was not familiar with it before. It’s a charitable organization that specifically serves church workers in need. Aside from the aide we received there, the GoFundMe page also got word out to our friends near and far. Our community of friends as well as the greater community of believers have reached out and given generously to help us through this time. Again and again, God showed us that we are not alone.
God Provides
Support has come in waves. From the beginning, we prioritized our list of contents by most immediate need. Each time I thought, “That’s it. We won’t be able to replace any more,” another gift has come our way. Our friends have given with such generous hearts. I am truly humbled by the love that’s been shown to our family.
Both in matters of housing and contents, God has shaped my fear and my hopelessness into something stronger. Trust. Again and again, He has proven that we will be cared for. Our needs will be met. These past months have been so, so hard, both physically, and emotionally, but we are okay. I can’t yet say that we are on the other side of this mess. Luke still looks for housing whenever we drive around town. “Can we live in that neighborhood, Mom?” he asks. “No,” I say. “But we’ll have a house again one day.”
At each and every obstacle, God has provided a community of friends and believers to walk with us. We are not alone. We are blessed beyond measure, even in the midst of this trial. Even as we wait for our next home. We are not alone.
