For this entire series on integrating the Christian faith at home, I’ve focused on teaching children to know their God-given Christian identity. This week, I want us to turn our attention to the use of technology. Our children live in a vastly different world than we did as youth. My first email account came around my freshman year of college. I got my first cell phone as a college senior. I was still printing out Map Quest maps well into my twenties. No one taught me how to responsibly use technology. New tech became available over the years, and I slowly incorporated it into my life. Our children live in a world full of technology. It’s everywhere, with seemingly limitless capabilities. We have a responsibility to teach our children how to be faith-filled digital citizens in a largely un-Christian digital world.
BUT HOW DO I TEACH SOMETHING I WAS NEVER TAUGHT?
Because of the timing of the rise of technology, I was never taught how to use it within the context of my Christian faith. I’m not sure that anyone had thought of a such a thing at the time the internet first rolled out. It was new and shiny and adventurous. The pitfalls and temptations of life online were not widely known or broadcast. Cyber bullying was not a thing. Social media had yet to form. If online predators existed then, I knew nothing about them. If you’re like me and had no formal instruction or education regarding the Christian use of technology, how are we to then turn around and teach such a thing to our children?
When I first approached the idea of this topic, I found myself at a loss, so I went looking for resources. I found a book entitled, “Faithfully Connected: Integrating Biblical Principles in a Digital World.” I cannot recommend this book highly enough. The two authors (Dr. Benjamin Boche and Dr. Jacob Hollatz) have obviously spent a lot of time thinking about this exact topic. As I read this book, they opened my mind to things I had never considered, or shaped ideas in a way that I had not yet formed them in my own mind. The thing is, they ground this book in the context of one’s Christian identity. So at its heart, it is exactly what I was hoping to find. Much of what I’ll say below are thoughts that I developed after reading this book.
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ACTIVE VERSUS PASSIVE TECHNOLOGY USE
Technology can be used in an active or passive manner. Active use would be something like writing emails or posting an article such as this one. Passive use is probably the most common use of technology. Sometimes it’s known as doom scrolling. It’s the idea that we reach for technology to pass the time, often scrolling for negative news or shocking content. Our thumb scrolls across the screen every 1-2 seconds on average. I think if we’re honest, we can all say that we’re guilty of this some of the time. Active use of technology is purposeful. Passive consumption of technology is potentially harmful.
When we view the passive use of technology in the context of Christian faith, we can generally say that most of what’s seen online is not Christian content. It may not be inherently harmful, but the authors of “Faithfully Connected” suggest that we consider the distribution of our time throughout the day. If our Christian faith is the most important part of our identity, but we spend more time doom scrolling than in the Word, our life is out of balance.
Technology can be used to support one’s Christian world view. We can use technology to reach other Christians. We can use technology to spread the word of God. It’s a powerful tool that hasn’t been accessible for most of world history. Think of how the gospel might spread! But passive use of technology does not spread the gospel. If anything, it removes our hearts farther away from God’s intentions for us.
Our children need to recognize the difference between these two uses of technology. As parents, we should model responsible behaviors in the home. We should explain how and when we use technology, and seek to uplift the Lord by our purposeful behaviors.
DIGITAL ETIQUETTE
As Christians, we should be grounded in our God-given identity. In my home, we say the words, “Because I’m a child of God, I am loved, chosen, forgiven, and redeemed.” This identity should inform the way we approach the world. Can others online see that we’re Christian? Is our identity in Christ clear to those who interact with us through technology? These are important questions to consider.
When our children first text their friends or delve into social media accounts, there’s temptation to act online in a manner that would not be acceptable in person. Our children need to know that one’s Christian identity is present all the time. It shouldn’t take a back seat when we log onto social media. The way in which we interact with others online should show them who we are in Christ.
Aside from how we interact online, our children should also understand where and when it’s appropriate to use technology. There’s a problem when teens attend a youth event at church, but spend all of their time looking at their phones. The thing is, it’s our job as adults to educate the next generation about the responsible use of technology. We do this by establishing rules. Make rules for your household. Maybe it’s “No screens in the bedroom,” or “No technology at the table,” or “Phones off after 10:00 pm.” Whatever the rules, establish what is appropriate use in your home. Help your children to understand when it’s appropriate to use technology outside of the home. You might say, “No phone use at church,” or “Your phone is for emergencies only,” or “Put your device away in social situations.”
As adults, it’s our job to help the next generation develop a sense of digital etiquette.
TALK ABOUT TECHNOLOGY WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Our kids need to know that they can come to us with any problems, even if those problems are hidden within a screen. I agree with these authors that it’s our job as parents to keep the lines of communication open. Speak with your children about technology and encourage an open dialogue with questions like:
- What did you see online today?
- What are your friends posting about?
- Have your friends ever posted anything online that makes you uncomfortable?
- Can your friends see your Christian identity by how you treat others online?
- Do the photos you post online truly represent your life or are they a caricature of what you think life should be?
Our children need to know the dangers that lurk within the internet. I feel like that’s an entirely different subtopic. That said, our open communication is the best way to protect our children from harm as we shape them into faith-filled digital citizens.
WHAT ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY OR OTHER DAMAGING CONTENT?
When I first began to look at this topic, I thought I would need to come up with a list of age appropriate digital web filters. The truth is, there’s a way around just about any filter. While these may still have a place and are encouraged, our children need to learn to be their own filters. I think this circles us back to our identity in Christ. If we’re grounding our families in that identity, we should teach our children to approach technology with respect, and through prayer. Essentially, our Christian identity should be the first and strongest filter.
No matter the situation we face as Christians, God’s law functions as a curb, a mirror, and a guide. We know the expectations that have been set before us. The advancement of technology makes temptation all the greater, as inappropriate content is available on every screen in the home. Nevertheless, it’s a temptation like any other.
Because the average child in America first views pornography by age 12, I encourage you to speak openly with your young children about this temptation and the damage it causes to any future sexual relationship. Children need to know what pornography is and how God has clearly warned us against such exposure. They should also know the danger of predators who lurk around the industry. In some sense, I feel like this topic requires the approach of the 80’s anti-drug campaign, “Just say no.” I would follow that up with, “Because God has warned us against the danger of sexual immorality and he wants the best for our relationships on earth.”
FAITHFULLY CONNECTED AND FORGIVEN
To close, I’d like to leave you with a quote from “Faithfully Connected:”
The best part of rooting our identity in Christ is knowing we are forgiven, so the challenge for young people is to consider how to approach digital communication with forgiveness at the forefront of their thoughts and actions. Romans 1:16 anchors us in the digital citizenship trait of communication by telling us not to be ashamed of the Gospel: ‘For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek’.…While we may feel the need to conform to societal pressures in what we post or how we portray ourselves to others, we must remember that the Gospel is above any sort of pressure that comes from others, and transformationally so!
OTHER POSTS IN THIS SERIES
Integrating the Faith at Home: Raising Children to Know Their Christian Identity
Second Week: Practical, Innovative Habits
Third Week: Unusual Compassion and Grace
Fourth Week: The Value of Christian Relationships
Fifth Week: Introducing Biblical Sexuality
Sixth Week : Faith-Filled Digital Citizens
Seventh Week: Managing God’s Wealth
Eighth Week: Professional and Personal Vocation
For another post that I’ve written on Christian Identity, see Christian Identity and Personal Wellness.
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