How I Write Targeted Intentions for the New Year

I’m a planner. I always have been. I enjoy writing lists and thinking about my future, so naturally, New Year’s resolutions have always been something I enjoy. The thing is, I’ve learned from experience, that some lists are more effective than others. That’s part of why I don’t consider my annual list to be “resolutions” anymore. I think of them as “intentions.” I’ll explain the difference below, and why it matters to me. Based on my personal experience and failures, let me explain how (and why) I write targeted intentions for the New Year.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A “RESOLUTION” AND AN “INTENTION”?

RESOLUTION

In the past, resolutions were goals that I set for my New Year. Generally, they were chosen by looking at myself and selecting things I did not like, or things that I wanted to change. So to write a resolution, I might cast my vision out to the following New Year and say, “By this time next year, I want to be…” Most often, that “dot-dot-dot” was more of a wish than an achievable goal. Like (when I was younger), “I want to be married,” or (more recently) “I want to be published.” Another may have been, “I want to be healthy and strong.” So many of my past resolutions were failures.

Sometimes I failed because my goal was actually outside of my control. At other times, it was because I didn’t set measurable, achievable steps to reach what I wanted. You know how it is. Everyone charges to the gym in January and maybe February, but by March, most of those new members have fallen back into old habits. My resolutions failed again and again. I still enjoyed the process of dreaming…but it wasn’t very effective. Enter my switch to targeted intentions.

INTENTION

While resolutions seem to focus on the future or some far removed goal, intentions bring focus to the present moment. Intentions, for me, are about life in the day to day. I think of a goal as a destination, but an intention is set apart from achieving any goal. It sort of redefines how I want to live. Intentions are meant to improve my quality of life, or the quality of my relationships.

I think it’s less likely that intentions will be considered a failure. They’re not all or nothing. Maybe, on some particular days, my intentions will receive less attention. That’s normal and natural, I suppose. But with intentions, I sort of get to start over every day. Each morning is a chance to regroup and set the tone for that day. Intentions are motivation for living the life I want to live.

TARGETED INTENTIONS ARE MEASUREABLE

The teacher in me wants all objectives to be measurable. Even with intentions, I want to know HOW I’m going to achieve the thing I want to change. As an example, I’m going to be very vulnerable and share a few of my personal intentions for this year.

INTENTION ONE

One of my intentions is to “detach from my phone.” As a writer, I spend most days staring at my computer. Then, when my computer is closed and put away, I impulsively reach for my phone as if I have to have a screen in my face. I read a statistic recently that people touch their phones an average of 2,617 times a day! I don’t want that kind of addiction in my life. Not anymore. I want a quiet, simple life. I want to unplug.

Now I could try to measure the time that I spend on my phone, but I’ve tried that before. It doesn’t work. I override digital walls. I break my own rules. This year, instead of telling myself what I’m going to take away, I’ve decided to tell myself what I want to add in place of screen time. I’ve set targeted intentions that reinforce a daily detachment from my phone. The truth is, if my phone permanently died tomorrow, I would read more. I’d spend more time outside. I’d bake more. These are all things that I ultimately want in my life. These are things that I won’t regret. If I come to the end of my life and find that I spent 45,000 hours scrolling mindlessly on my phone – that I would regret.

I’ve chosen three measurable ways to spend my time. I’ve decided to measure my progress like this: Read at least twenty-four books this year. Walk a local trail at least 52 times this year. Read the entire New Testament this year. These are measurable, mindful intentions. These represent the ways I’d like to spend my time. If I can achieve these three things, I will have also achieved my primary intention to detach from my phone.

INTENTION TWO

When I look at my daily life, I want less of my phone, but I also want to just slow down. I’m a worrier. A doer. I run from one task to the next. There’s always another thing to do. Now this may seem like irony since I’m making new lists right here, but I see these lists as permission to slow down and enjoy the things that bring me peace. So my second intention is to simply “slow down.”

I’ve created two targeted, measurable intentions to help me achieve that feeling of “slowing down.” Both of these intentions involve strengthening relationships. It’s funny how that builds a sense of calm, but I think sometimes we get so busy, we take for granted the people we see everyday. My targeted intentions look like this: Read aloud to my son everyday. (I normally do this, but my busyness of late has pushed some of these hours to the wayside.) Spend twenty minutes a day talking with my husband. (Again, we already talk frequently, but I’d like to have dedicated time without the tv or phones or even our son there to interrupt.)

HOW TO MAINTAIN MINDFULNESS OVER TARGETED INTENTIONS

I think it’s hard to change habits. Over time, we allow ourselves to fall into “what’s easy” or “lazy” instead of focusing on what we truly want for our life. It’s easy to stare at a screen and tune out. It’s easy to rush through to-do lists and forget to tune in with the people we love. It’s hard to make change. But change is valuable when the intention is pure.

I think that if you truly want to change something about your daily life, you can do so. Because I like “I AM” statements so much, I like to wrap up my intentions in “I AM” words.

I AM ready to detach from my phone by prioritizing books, nature, and time with God over the comfort of mindless scrolling.

I AM grateful for my son and my husband and will slow down to spend purposeful time with each of them.

I’ve written these statements into my notebook. They’re also both hanging from my bathroom mirror. I speak them to myself each day. To be mindful and purposeful regarding desired change, the targeted intentions need to be at the forefront of one’s thoughts.

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Intentions are not an all or nothing resolution. There’s no grand failure. If I get to the end of the year and have only read 23 books instead of 24, I will still celebrate the time I spent reading and not scrolling my phone. If I don’t make it all the way through the New Testament, I will still value the time I spent with God. Intentions are about changing one’s daily life a little at a time.

I will never regret time spent reading to my son or visiting with my husband.

I will never regret time spent in books or walking in nature.

You can mindfully shape the life you want to live, simple and quiet (or adventurous) as it may be. Targeted intentions can improve the quality of your life and shape the quality of your relationships. Are you ready to try something new? Take it one day at a time.